True Love

True love is believing in yourself, having faith in your abilities, selflessly nurturing your gifts, and offering your God-given energies as contributions to the greater good of the world. It is intending outcomes that contribute to the common welfare of all that exists and making choices that align with your intentions.

True love exists when you love not from the mind, body, or emotion, but when you love from the soul. It is genuine, unconditional, nonjudgmental. It is of God. It is persistent enough to express itself, but patient enough to wait for the right time. Love exists in the moment, without anticipation. It gives, without expectation. It operates, without dissonance. It simply feels right when it is expressed and received.

To express true love, you must possess that love within yourself, for yourself; for you cannot give to others something that you do not have. Share the beauty of love with the world by identifying a spark of love within your soul, then cultivating that love until it naturally radiates from your very being. It will be expressed through the words of your mouth, the touch of your hand, the glisten in your eye, the gleam of your smile, the work you perform, the music you play, the art you create, the books you write. Your simple presence will emit love toward all who are in the vicinity of your being.

Appreciation gives you more

This post is comprised of two parts. Part I shares some basic thoughts about appreciating and wanting. Part II derives from a speech about appreciation that I delivered to employees at our annual employee appreciation banquet.

Part I
Appreciating and wanting

When we always get what we want, we weaken our capacity to realize true happiness with what we have. Always receiving what we want strengthens our desire for more, weakening our appreciation for what currently exists. To live without wanting strengthens our gratification for what we have, and when the timing is right for us to obtain more, we appreciate what we receive.

Appreciation for what we have can be expressed towards our knowledge, relationships, physical abilities, spirituality, money and other material items, and many other identifiable and sometimes unidentifiable components that comprise the totality of our lives. As we express true gratitude toward each of these existing variables, we foster growth for each variable, resulting in the acquisition of more…more knowledge, more healthy relationships, improved physical abilities, enhanced spirituality, and even more money.

Appreciating all variables that comprise our lives will help us maintain balance. The desire for more of any one component results in a lack of appreciation for one of more of the remaining components.

Part II
The following content derives from a speech that I delivered to employees at our university's annual appreciation banquet.
Good afternoon! Welcome to the 2009 employee appreciation banquet.

For these opening remarks, I thought that the topic of appreciation would be a good fit. So, I decided that I would share a wise quote and reflect a bit on my perspective of appreciation. The quote comes from the Dalai Lama, who states that “The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.” In other words, more goodness grows through an appreciation of the goodness that already exists

I’ve learned that appreciation can be very powerful and rewarding. Through genuine appreciation of that which we have, regardless of what it is, we will receive more. Through our care for the vast array of things in our lives, they become even more beautiful. To illustrate, think of a flower. When we care for a flower, the flower blossoms and brings even more beauty to our world. Or, consider a student entering the university as a young freshman, a new seed ready to be cared for and appreciated to blossom into a flowering graduate.

This blossoming effect truly applies to all areas our lives.

For example, when we care for our belongings, we prove to ourselves and others that we are worthy of having more and, subsequently, more comes to us. Think of a child who appreciates his toys…his parents are much more inclined to buy him more toys because he cares for them. However, if he does not appreciate his toys, his parents will be less likely to buy him more because he isn’t expressing proper care to those that he already has.

The same is true for our relationships, knowledge, bodies, money, and more, even higher education. When we care for our relationships, we utilize the strategies necessary to strengthen our relationships, proving to ourselves and others that we are capable of entering more.

By appreciating our knowledge, we use that knowledge to gain even more as we study and open our minds to the teachings of others. When we care for our bodies, we exercise and eat right to gain more strength and health. When we care for our money, we invest and save properly as a means to increase financial wealth.

So, how does all of this apply to us at the university? Well, here are a few examples that come to mind. When a supervisor expresses genuine appreciation for the good work performed by her employees, the employees are eager to perform more good work. When an employee expresses appreciation toward the constructive remarks and favorable responsibilities given by his boss, the boss is inclined to offer more constructive feedback and opportunities to the employee. When an employee expresses appreciation toward a coworker for helping her with a task, the employee is likely to receive more help in the future from that coworker and other colleagues because she truly appreciates the assistance. In the classroom, when an instructor expresses appreciation for the students’ good work and classroom participation, the students are eager to perform more good work and continue their participation in class. When students express appreciation for the instructor’s efforts and feedback, the instructor is more likely to offer even greater efforts and more constructive feedback for the students.

Try to view appreciation from the perspective of a giver. As we give something, and it could be anything…a compliment, a smile, a lending hand, a tangible possession…and the recipient expresses appreciation, we feel good inside. When we keep in the forefront of our mind that pleasant feeling, we will be inclined to express much more appreciation toward others.

Appreciate everything in your life, whether it is seemingly small or large, at home or at work or anywhere else for that matter…care for it all. True wealth exists through the genuine appreciation of all that you have.

Thank you!

Beyond the chain link fence - by Nathan Anderson

(This was written in November 2008 after I woke up from a vivid dream that spoke quite loudly to me)

The dream

I had a dream last night. I walked over to my neighbor’s house to share with her an experience that I had the night before her husband passed away. As I arrived, she welcomed me into her home so we could talk. I attempted to share the details of the experience with her, but I lacked the ability to clearly convey my experience to her. When trying to talk, I made noises that occasionally projected themselves as words or phrases with some relevance to what I was trying to say. I knew what I wanted to say, but realized difficulty expressing the message. My neighbor responded with, what I perceived to be, a slight understanding masked with copious confusion. Here ends the dream.

The significance of the dream

What is the significance of this dream? Yes, I had an experience, a very peaceful experience the night before her husband passed away. When I learned about his passing, I realized that my experience was more meaningful than I originally thought. Ever since I connected the husband’s passing to my experience, I have been meaning to put the analysis into writing and share the story with my neighbor. However, I have procrastinated the writing of this experience, and I have not yet shared the story with my neighbor. Because I had not written anything yet, I had considered simply sharing the story with my neighbor prior to processing the experience through writing. I believe that this dream was a message to me that I need to write down my story so I am better prepared to share the experience with her. Writing down the details will ensure that the message is clearly conveyed.

The experience behind the dream

I am now adhering to the message of this dream to write a description of the experience and how I believe it to be connected to the passing away of my neighbor.

The back yard was dark, dimly lit by the moonlight. I was hanging ghost decorations on the chain link fence for the kids’ Halloween party on Friday. I had hung ghosts on the south fence and proceeded to hang ghosts on the north fence. The north fence runs east-west to separate our yard from my neighbor’s yard. When I was about halfway done hanging ghosts on the north fence, I dropped a ghost. As I bent over to pick it up, my awareness of the surrounding environment heightened. The meaningless thoughts that had clouded my mind began to evaporate. I reminded myself to be still, to simply be aware. I gazed north, beyond the chain link fence, into my neighbor’s back yard. As I stared into the yard, I saw/heard/felt a Presence that I am unable to accurately describe with words, although I will try. I was surrounded by an intense sense of serenity…comfort…peace. I felt the gentle touch of comfort, heard the stillness of serenity, and as I peered into the backyard, I saw the beautiful image of peace. Fear did not exist, nor did any form. Although the Presence was not of form, it was intensely realized by the senses of touch, sight, and sound. For the moment, everything was perfect. I was grateful for the opportunity to live such a beautiful moment. I knew the Holy Spirit was near. As my mind began to allow the residence of thought, I remember thinking that nothing could scare me at this moment. I was completely safe. I did not see a ghost that night, nor have I ever seen a ghost, but I remember thinking that even if I saw one I would feel no fear. I remember thinking that if I had been a child in this moment, that my mind would have allowed fear to block the beauty of what I had just witnessed. Following the beauty of the experience, I finished hanging ghosts on the fence and continued to decorate other areas for the party. I went to bed with a special thank you to God for allowing me to experience a special moment of grace that evening.

The next day, I woke up and went to work just like I would any other day. I decided to go home for lunch that day, and on my way home, I was passed on 6th street by a police car with lights flashing. As I turned on 16th Avenue, a fire truck was racing toward me before taking a turn on 10th Street. I turned on 10th Street toward our house and saw the fire truck stop across the street from our next-door neighbor’s house. The police car was already there, and an ambulance also pulled up in front of the house. I watched the firemen and ambulance personnel race into the house. Curious as to what was happening, I stood inside my front door to see if anyone would be taken out of the house. Minutes later, I watched the ambulance personnel and firemen leave the house. They walked slowly without anyone in their care. They entered their vehicles and drove away with far less urgency than they displayed as they arrived. The police officer was still there. I did not know what had happened. As time for my lunch break began to expire, I walked toward my car and saw my neighbor’s daughter-in-law outside. She appeared sad and had tears in her eyes. I asked what had happened. Her soft spoken words said that her father-in-law had passed away. I expressed condolences, offered to help in any way that I could, and returned to work.

When I returned home from work for the day, I saw my neighbor outside. I approached her, gave her a hug, and again expressed my sorrow for her loss. She provided me with more details about what had happened. She said that the previous night, her husband said that he must’ve eaten a bad hamburger because he didn’t feel too well. She said that he stayed downstairs to watch TV and she went upstairs to go to bed. The next day she found his dead body downstairs at about 11:00 am. He died of a heart attack sometime between the time she found him and the time she talked to him the previous night.

As I heard her words, I began to see the connection between my experience the previous night and her husband’s death. The Holy Spirit was near that night, not necessarily to comfort me, but to ensure a safe journey home for my neighbor. I was simply still enough to witness His Presence.

Now that I have documented this experience, I feel better prepared to share it with my neighbor.

Passion and Your Life's Purpose

What exactly is your passion, how do you discover it, and how do you live your life through it?

Your passion is that which results from proper alignment of your inner and outer purposes. On a basic level, your inner and outer purposes can be defined as follows. Your inner purpose is to convey to a particular audience a message that contributes to the greater good of the universe. Your outer purpose is the modality of conveyance, how you will communicate the message to the audience for which it is intended. Depending on your specific purposes, your audience could be your self, your immediate family, a group of peers, a community organization, a country, or even the world. When you identify your inner and outer purposes, then you can truly discover your passion. When you put your inner and outer purposes into action, then you can realize your passion; you can live life through your passion.

Many people are unable to accurately identify their true passion because they search for it outside of themselves. When searching, they may identify passions in others and try to take those passions on as their own, only to realize that they remain unfulfilled. Just because a certain person has achieved success, or fulfillment, through his passion does not mean that you will achieve success or fulfillment if you assume his passion as your own. Your passion cannot be assumed from someone outside of yourself. Your inner and outer purposes are not exactly the same as someone else’s. In other words, your message to convey and modality of conveyance are unique to you and, consequently, your passion is unique as well. Passion can only be manifested from within. You may look to others for guidance and support when looking for your passion, but you will ultimately find it within yourself. If you have not identified it yet, know that it is within you and that you can identify it by allowing it to emerge through the clouds of thought and external distractions.

Satisfying Desires

Do we realize true contentment when we receive something that we believe will satisfy our desires?

Before you read on, please take a moment to ponder these questions: Does giving the gift of wealth to the poor really make them wealthy? Does giving the gift of health to the sick really make them healthy? Does giving the gift of happiness to the depressed really make them happy?

The answer to all of these questions can be “yes”, but only for a moment. When only the outcomes of wealth, health, and happiness are given, the results are short term. For long-term results to be realized, the gifts must be accompanied by lessons and guidelines that will yield success. Gifts of wealth, health, and happiness are only beneficial to us if we learn how to use and maintain them.

Satisfying the desire for wealth

If someone is poor because of inadequate money management skills and he is given wealth, he will eventually return to a poor lifestyle due to careless spending and weak savings practices. Should he want to maintain his wealth that was given to him, he must modify his money management skills to reflect smart savings and investments and wise spending habits.

If, however, he was once wealthy because of his effective money management skills and is now poor due to a disaster beyond his control, then if he is given the gift of wealth he will have a greater chance of maintaining the wealth because he understands strategies that yield financial success.

Satisfying the desire for health

If a man is sick because of poor dieting and unhealthy lifestyle choices, then, if it was possible to give him health, the gift of health would need to be accompanied by lessons and guidelines to maintain health. The health, just as the wealth, would soon be lost, if he did not modify his diet and lifestyle to reflect healthy choices. Returning to an inactive lifestyle supplemented by an unhealthy diet will quickly deplete the gifted health just as careless spending and inadequate saving will deplete the gifted wealth.

If, however, he was once healthy because of good dieting and wise lifestyle choices and then is burdened by an unexpected illness, the gift of health would allow him a greater chance of maintaining the health because he has already accustomed himself to practices that yield positive results.

Satisfying the desire for happiness

If a man is unhappy because he continuously beats himself up for his decisions and behaviors and always wishes he had more, then the gift of happiness will not yield him long-term contentedness because he lacks the skills to know how to be happy. The happiness gifted to him must be accompanied by lessons and guidelines that will help him maintain his happiness. Giving someone a pill to make him happy is a short term fix if the pill is not accompanied by strategies that will allow him to continue happy living when the pill is no longer available. He must be taught strategies that will help him to be happy with what he has, to genuinely appreciate life, and to avoid dwelling on unsatisfactory circumstances.

Long-term results

Effectively applied strategies and decisions can yield long-term wealth, health, and happiness if we are poor, sick, or unhappy. Contrarily, if we are simply gifted wealth through a lottery, health through a detoxification program, or happiness through a pill, and we fail to modify our previously unsuccessful wealth, health, and happiness maintenance strategies, then we will return to our unsatisfactory circumstances when the gifts expire. Just as with any other type of gift, the gifts of wealth, health, and happiness serve us value only if we know how to use them. To better illustrate, take the examples of a computer, car, piano, or a book. The gift of a computer can only serve value if you know how to navigate through the applications. The gift of a car can only serve value if you know how to drive. The gift of a piano can only serve value if you know how to play. The gift of a book can only serve value if you know how to read.

If you wish for greater levels of wealth, health, or happiness, wish for the skills that will help you achieve and maintain your desired levels rather than wishing for the outcomes themselves. As you acquire skills to maintain the desired outcomes, then you can realize long-term contentment. Only wishing for the outcomes is like wishing for a gift that you don’t know how to use, and the happiness of receiving the gift will consequently fade.

Life is like...walking though a forest

Viewing the forest from a distance, we identify a solid design of earth-tone hues that lacks a clear path to the other side. We are intrigued by the forest and by what may exist following a journey through the woods. Our curiosity prompts a decision to be made. We have the choice to see the forest as a barrier and bypass the option to attempt a venture to the other side. Or, we have the choice to approach the woods and attempt to locate a path that leads us to the other side.

By seeing the forest as a barrier, we become overridden with fear and doubt, believing that the effort to walk through the woods will not be worth fulfilling the wonder of what may exist in the land beyond. This mindset prohibits us from satisfying our desire to see what follows the forest because we lack the ability to confidently face challenges, prompting us to consequently suffer the ongoing burden of wonder.

Though choosing not to approach the woods, we remain fascinated about what may be in the woods and on the other side so we continue to think “what if I would have attempted to go through?” “Would things be different if made it through or if I at least tried to make it through?” This burden of wonder frequently outweighs the burden of confronting challenges as they arise, prolonging undue discomfort in our lives. This undue discomfort can be avoided by choosing to attempt the journey to the other side. Upon making this choice to confront a challenge that, from a distance, may appear impossible to overcome, we begin walking toward the forest.

As we approach the forest, we begin to see small gaps between the trees. As we move closer yet, the gaps become wider. We see areas that allow access into what was earlier perceived as an impossible barrier to penetrate. We step into the forest and realize that we can take a few more steps and as we take those steps we realize that we can take a few more. Although we are unable to see other side, we become enlightened by the realization that we can still move forward.

Through this venture, we will encounter wildlife, low hanging branches, thorns, holes, and many other small obstacles, but we quickly learn that we can easily adapt to these obstructions by slightly modifying our path, and we can still move forward. Because of our size, strength, flexibility, and other physical variances, each of our paths through the forest will be unique to our individual selves. For example, some of us may be small enough to squeeze through tight spaces, others may have enough strength to move large branches, and others yet may have the flexibility to stretch across wide holes. This highlights the reality that we are all built differently so each one of us must inevitably take a different path to reach the other side.

By attempting to follow another person’s exact path, we will encounter barriers that we are unable to overcome because, whether it’s slightly or significantly, our individual design varies from that of another. As we continue to progress, we eventually see wider paths that ultimately lead to the other side of the forest. We soon can take our last step out of the woods and reap the rewards for confidently facing the challenge of walking through.

The present discomfort of stepping into the unknown yields us future pleasure by making it through. We are rewarded with the elimination of the burden of wonder, the enhancement of our physical, mental, and spiritual strength, and the appreciation of that which awaited us on the other side.

We encounter many figurative forests throughout life. We are intrigued by some, but not by others. These forests can include new jobs, habitats, relationships, educational agendas, and countless other new opportunities that enter our lives. When we meet those opportunities that intrigue us, we face the decision to either walk through and endure the immediate struggle or walk away and suffer the endless burden of wonder. To enhance ourselves and realize contented living, we must walk through these forests

Our passion may very well represent the most appealing forest in our sight, but many of us fear the unknown obstacles that we will face during the journey. Therefore, we choose to walk through forests that don’t appeal quite as much because we see other people walking through them. We must allow ourselves to walk toward the forest that aligns with our passion. As we move closer, we will realize that a path to enter the most beautiful forest exists, and with continued effort, we will make it through and reap the enhanced rewards of choosing to follow our passion, of choosing to journey through the woods that appeal to us the most.

Response to "interrupting pastor" question (Spiritual Q&A @ http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/)

Below is my response to a question that I answered for Soul Solutions Healing Group. My response, responses from other writers, and many additional spiritual articles, are available at the Soul Solutions Healing Group Team Blog (http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/). The following response addresses a question about a congregation member interrupting his pastor when the pastor is delivering a message.

Interrupting the pastor can certainly be regarded as impolite and inappropriate. The interruption may cause the pastor to lose focus, which can consequently limit the impact of his intended message. However, I truly believe that all things happen for a reason. Opportunities exist in all seemingly negative events.

The Lord possibly conveyed His word through the member’s interruption; or He may have a deeper meaning behind the behavior of this situation. For example, the Lord might have prompted the congregational member to speak out during the pastor’s message, not necessarily for the congregation to hear the words emitted from the man’s mouth, but for the congregation to witness a lesson in diplomatic attendance to unexpected, undesired circumstances. With this type of occurrence, the pastor has an opportunity to address the congregational member in such a way that he can bestow valuable behavior management lessons to the rest of the congregation and also clearly reiterate boundaries that exist while delivering his message. This challenge may have been injected into the church body as a growth opportunity for the pastor, select congregational members, or the church as a whole.

A similar situation may occur in a school classroom when a misbehaved child interrupts the lesson because he feels compelled to speak. Although serving as an interruption to the intended lesson, such an occurrence provides the teacher with an opportunity to exhibit diplomatic behavior management strategies and clearly reiterate classroom boundaries. Whether in the classroom, in a church, or in another setting, such an undesired event can promote strength and growth opportunities when approached from an appropriate perspective.