Satisfying Desires

Do we realize true contentment when we receive something that we believe will satisfy our desires?

Before you read on, please take a moment to ponder these questions: Does giving the gift of wealth to the poor really make them wealthy? Does giving the gift of health to the sick really make them healthy? Does giving the gift of happiness to the depressed really make them happy?

The answer to all of these questions can be “yes”, but only for a moment. When only the outcomes of wealth, health, and happiness are given, the results are short term. For long-term results to be realized, the gifts must be accompanied by lessons and guidelines that will yield success. Gifts of wealth, health, and happiness are only beneficial to us if we learn how to use and maintain them.

Satisfying the desire for wealth

If someone is poor because of inadequate money management skills and he is given wealth, he will eventually return to a poor lifestyle due to careless spending and weak savings practices. Should he want to maintain his wealth that was given to him, he must modify his money management skills to reflect smart savings and investments and wise spending habits.

If, however, he was once wealthy because of his effective money management skills and is now poor due to a disaster beyond his control, then if he is given the gift of wealth he will have a greater chance of maintaining the wealth because he understands strategies that yield financial success.

Satisfying the desire for health

If a man is sick because of poor dieting and unhealthy lifestyle choices, then, if it was possible to give him health, the gift of health would need to be accompanied by lessons and guidelines to maintain health. The health, just as the wealth, would soon be lost, if he did not modify his diet and lifestyle to reflect healthy choices. Returning to an inactive lifestyle supplemented by an unhealthy diet will quickly deplete the gifted health just as careless spending and inadequate saving will deplete the gifted wealth.

If, however, he was once healthy because of good dieting and wise lifestyle choices and then is burdened by an unexpected illness, the gift of health would allow him a greater chance of maintaining the health because he has already accustomed himself to practices that yield positive results.

Satisfying the desire for happiness

If a man is unhappy because he continuously beats himself up for his decisions and behaviors and always wishes he had more, then the gift of happiness will not yield him long-term contentedness because he lacks the skills to know how to be happy. The happiness gifted to him must be accompanied by lessons and guidelines that will help him maintain his happiness. Giving someone a pill to make him happy is a short term fix if the pill is not accompanied by strategies that will allow him to continue happy living when the pill is no longer available. He must be taught strategies that will help him to be happy with what he has, to genuinely appreciate life, and to avoid dwelling on unsatisfactory circumstances.

Long-term results

Effectively applied strategies and decisions can yield long-term wealth, health, and happiness if we are poor, sick, or unhappy. Contrarily, if we are simply gifted wealth through a lottery, health through a detoxification program, or happiness through a pill, and we fail to modify our previously unsuccessful wealth, health, and happiness maintenance strategies, then we will return to our unsatisfactory circumstances when the gifts expire. Just as with any other type of gift, the gifts of wealth, health, and happiness serve us value only if we know how to use them. To better illustrate, take the examples of a computer, car, piano, or a book. The gift of a computer can only serve value if you know how to navigate through the applications. The gift of a car can only serve value if you know how to drive. The gift of a piano can only serve value if you know how to play. The gift of a book can only serve value if you know how to read.

If you wish for greater levels of wealth, health, or happiness, wish for the skills that will help you achieve and maintain your desired levels rather than wishing for the outcomes themselves. As you acquire skills to maintain the desired outcomes, then you can realize long-term contentment. Only wishing for the outcomes is like wishing for a gift that you don’t know how to use, and the happiness of receiving the gift will consequently fade.

Life is like...walking though a forest

Viewing the forest from a distance, we identify a solid design of earth-tone hues that lacks a clear path to the other side. We are intrigued by the forest and by what may exist following a journey through the woods. Our curiosity prompts a decision to be made. We have the choice to see the forest as a barrier and bypass the option to attempt a venture to the other side. Or, we have the choice to approach the woods and attempt to locate a path that leads us to the other side.

By seeing the forest as a barrier, we become overridden with fear and doubt, believing that the effort to walk through the woods will not be worth fulfilling the wonder of what may exist in the land beyond. This mindset prohibits us from satisfying our desire to see what follows the forest because we lack the ability to confidently face challenges, prompting us to consequently suffer the ongoing burden of wonder.

Though choosing not to approach the woods, we remain fascinated about what may be in the woods and on the other side so we continue to think “what if I would have attempted to go through?” “Would things be different if made it through or if I at least tried to make it through?” This burden of wonder frequently outweighs the burden of confronting challenges as they arise, prolonging undue discomfort in our lives. This undue discomfort can be avoided by choosing to attempt the journey to the other side. Upon making this choice to confront a challenge that, from a distance, may appear impossible to overcome, we begin walking toward the forest.

As we approach the forest, we begin to see small gaps between the trees. As we move closer yet, the gaps become wider. We see areas that allow access into what was earlier perceived as an impossible barrier to penetrate. We step into the forest and realize that we can take a few more steps and as we take those steps we realize that we can take a few more. Although we are unable to see other side, we become enlightened by the realization that we can still move forward.

Through this venture, we will encounter wildlife, low hanging branches, thorns, holes, and many other small obstacles, but we quickly learn that we can easily adapt to these obstructions by slightly modifying our path, and we can still move forward. Because of our size, strength, flexibility, and other physical variances, each of our paths through the forest will be unique to our individual selves. For example, some of us may be small enough to squeeze through tight spaces, others may have enough strength to move large branches, and others yet may have the flexibility to stretch across wide holes. This highlights the reality that we are all built differently so each one of us must inevitably take a different path to reach the other side.

By attempting to follow another person’s exact path, we will encounter barriers that we are unable to overcome because, whether it’s slightly or significantly, our individual design varies from that of another. As we continue to progress, we eventually see wider paths that ultimately lead to the other side of the forest. We soon can take our last step out of the woods and reap the rewards for confidently facing the challenge of walking through.

The present discomfort of stepping into the unknown yields us future pleasure by making it through. We are rewarded with the elimination of the burden of wonder, the enhancement of our physical, mental, and spiritual strength, and the appreciation of that which awaited us on the other side.

We encounter many figurative forests throughout life. We are intrigued by some, but not by others. These forests can include new jobs, habitats, relationships, educational agendas, and countless other new opportunities that enter our lives. When we meet those opportunities that intrigue us, we face the decision to either walk through and endure the immediate struggle or walk away and suffer the endless burden of wonder. To enhance ourselves and realize contented living, we must walk through these forests

Our passion may very well represent the most appealing forest in our sight, but many of us fear the unknown obstacles that we will face during the journey. Therefore, we choose to walk through forests that don’t appeal quite as much because we see other people walking through them. We must allow ourselves to walk toward the forest that aligns with our passion. As we move closer, we will realize that a path to enter the most beautiful forest exists, and with continued effort, we will make it through and reap the enhanced rewards of choosing to follow our passion, of choosing to journey through the woods that appeal to us the most.

Response to "interrupting pastor" question (Spiritual Q&A @ http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/)

Below is my response to a question that I answered for Soul Solutions Healing Group. My response, responses from other writers, and many additional spiritual articles, are available at the Soul Solutions Healing Group Team Blog (http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/). The following response addresses a question about a congregation member interrupting his pastor when the pastor is delivering a message.

Interrupting the pastor can certainly be regarded as impolite and inappropriate. The interruption may cause the pastor to lose focus, which can consequently limit the impact of his intended message. However, I truly believe that all things happen for a reason. Opportunities exist in all seemingly negative events.

The Lord possibly conveyed His word through the member’s interruption; or He may have a deeper meaning behind the behavior of this situation. For example, the Lord might have prompted the congregational member to speak out during the pastor’s message, not necessarily for the congregation to hear the words emitted from the man’s mouth, but for the congregation to witness a lesson in diplomatic attendance to unexpected, undesired circumstances. With this type of occurrence, the pastor has an opportunity to address the congregational member in such a way that he can bestow valuable behavior management lessons to the rest of the congregation and also clearly reiterate boundaries that exist while delivering his message. This challenge may have been injected into the church body as a growth opportunity for the pastor, select congregational members, or the church as a whole.

A similar situation may occur in a school classroom when a misbehaved child interrupts the lesson because he feels compelled to speak. Although serving as an interruption to the intended lesson, such an occurrence provides the teacher with an opportunity to exhibit diplomatic behavior management strategies and clearly reiterate classroom boundaries. Whether in the classroom, in a church, or in another setting, such an undesired event can promote strength and growth opportunities when approached from an appropriate perspective.

Response to "sex outside of marriage" question (Spiritual Q&A @ http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/)

Below is my response to a question that I answered for Soul Solutions Healing Group. My response, responses from other writers, and many additional spiritual articles, are available at the Soul Solutions Healing Group Team Blog (http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/). The following response addresses a question about the desire for sex outside of marriage when such behavior doesn't align with personal beliefs.

.........However, I believe that challenges are injected into our lives for productive purposes. I believe that such challenges are actually compliments from God. This challenge has been given to you because God believes that you can satisfy the requirements to overcome the challenge. God has identified you as a man that has the patience and strength to effectively face this decision.

If we attempt to reap the fruits of a relationship before the relationship is fully grown, we face the risk of eating unripe fruit. The unripe fruit may satisfy our immediate desires, but ultimately won’t be as pleasing as it would be if the relationship had been fully developed. Following ingestion of the unripe fruit, we may realize that we ate the fruit too soon. Upon this realization, we can be plagued with the guilt and shame of allowing our immediate desires to triumph over our core values.

In many instances, when we allow our present desires to take precedence over our true selves, the present pleasure that we attain can often yield prolonged future discomfort. Contrarily, if we endure the discomfort of abstaining from the present desire for unripe fruit, we are blessed with the opportunity to realize the enhanced pleasure of ripened fruit. We are also blessed with the contentment of aligning our actions with our core values. Happiness exists when our behaviors are in alignment with our true selves.

Response to "Agendas" question (Spiritual Q&A @ http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/)

Below is my response to a question that I answered for Soul Solutions Healing Group. My response, responses from other writers, and many additional spiritual articles, are available at the Soul Solutions Healing Group Team Blog (http://ssgteamblog.blogspot.com/). The following response addresses a question about how some people might have specific agendas that would result in the denial of certain things to us.

Just as beauty exists in the eye of the beholder, an agenda exists in the eye of the perceiver. If we believe that we see an agenda in another person, then an agenda consequently exists, at least within our mind. If we believe that a person can come to this Earth with an agenda, then yes, this will be true to our perception. We will do whatever it takes to make it true if this is what we believe. This reinforces the power of the mind. We can create many things in our minds if we give our minds the control to do so. Agendas, deceitfulness, manipulation, etc. exist only if we allow them to exist. In truth, our perception of an agenda only serves as a barrier between our higher self and the higher self of the person who we think is holding the agenda.

All people on this earth are inherently good. Some, however, out of fear, mask their goodness with self-serving purposes. An agenda, a form of self-serving purpose, is a temporary mask that covers the inherent goodness existing at the person's core being. If we choose to buy-in to (or dwell on) the agenda, our perception materializes that agenda whether we express our buy-in orally or via an alternate means or communication.

People are eager to show us that which we identify in them. As a result, the person whom we believe holds the agenda will more readily show us his/her attributes that lead us to believe that he/she has an agenda. When we identify the good in them, they show us their good attributes. When we dwell on the negative that masks their inherent good, they will show us the negative because that is what we are paying attention to. They will show us their agenda.

Take the example of a child dressing up in a scary costume. In this scenario, the scary costume represents the ill-intentioned agenda of another person. If we pay most of our attention to the child when he is in a scary costume, the child will continue to wear the costume around us because he knows that we pay more attention to him when he is covering up his true self. The same child may not dress up in the costume around other individuals because they pay attention to him as his natural self. As we continue to see the child in costume, our perception leads us to believe that the costume is an actual part of the child; we forget what the child's true self looks like because we have chosen to pay attention to the child only when he is in costume. We know that the child was not born wearing the costume; he simply made it part of himself while in our presence because we only pay attention to him when he is wearing it. In time, when we become aware of how our attention has prompted the child to continuously wear a costume around us, we can choose to focus our attention on the child's true self; consequently, the child will remove the costume and show us his good, natural self because we are now paying attention to his genuine attributes. When we pay our attention to the God-given attributes of others, the scary costumes, the agendas, will be removed.

On a personal level, in previous years, I had seen many more agendas than I currently see. This is not because the people have changed, but because my perception of the people has changed. A person only knows that which he/she pays attention to. As such, a conscious effort can be made to pay attention to that which is beautiful: the genuine God-sent attributes of each individual. Routine identification of God-sent attributes will eventually remove the mask that was put on to attract our attention. The agenda will eventually dissolve.

Life is like...a massage

Life is like…a massage

The masseuse who performs the massage possesses an ability to positively impact the well-being of the massage recipient. He realizes the benefits of offering the service and knows that such benefits rarely include a returned massage from the person to whom he provided the massage. He conducted the massage and, for the reward, he doesn’t receive a massage himself, but instead is compensated with stronger hands and the satisfaction that the tension of another person’s life was eased through his efforts.

In life, much like rewards for a masseuse, rewards for our actions and good deeds do not always align perfectly with the “I massage your back, you massage mine” philosophy. We don’t always massage the kinks out of another person’s life with the expectation that she is going to immediately do the same thing for us. Holding onto such expectations is only setting us up for disappointment when the expectations are not met.

When our awareness is keen and the timing is right for the kinks to be worked out of our lives, a masseuse will emerge to loosen our tension. A willing masseuse may already be in our lives, or we may need to expend some effort to find the right one. If not immediately, we will eventually find he who is eager to help; or maybe he will first find us. Just as we realized the benefits of strengthening our hands and our character by massaging the tensions out of another, someone else will realize the benefits of massaging the tensions out of us.

Throughout our existence, we continuously face opportunities to play the masseuse, opportunities to help work out the kinks and knots of people’s lives and enhance their overall well-being. Metaphorically, the masseuse role can exist through a diverse array of mediums, including examples such as helping a neighbor mow his lawn, talking to a child about issues at school, assisting a family member with a project at her house, explaining a homework assignment to a fellow classmate, or giving an unexpected gift to a friend. Each example depicts a different way that we can help ease tension in others’ lives just as a masseuse eases tension in the one who is being massaged.

Although only a few are listed, countless opportunities to assume this role continuously surface. Depending upon our awareness and expectations of the role, we will approach such opportunities differently. Some of us are aware of these opportunities and act upon them, while to others the opportunities are less apparent. Some of us, although able to see the opportunities, fail to act upon them because we expect something in return that we don’t think we’ll receive.

To illustrate, while shopping we may identify an item that would help brighten a saddened friend’s day so we purchase the item and offer it as a gift in hopes that it will lighten her mood. With this mindset, we do not expect a gift in return. We understand that our reward will not be in the form of a tangible gift, but in the form of strengthened character and the satisfaction of helping to improve a friend’s well-being. Some of us, however, are unable to identify the item because we lack awareness of the positive impact that it could have on our friend. Furthermore, some of us may easily identify the item but choose not to purchase it because we don’t believe that we will receive a tangible gift in return.

We must understand that our good deeds unto others will yield us positive rewards even if the rewards do not grace us in the same shape of the deeds that we provide. We simply need to be aware of the countless forms of positive rewards that result from our doings and appreciate them as they bless our lives. As we dissolve our expectations about the rewards for our good deeds, we enhance our ability to maximize contentedness within our selves. We can gracefully play the role of the masseuse, realizing contentment without expecting an immediate massage in return.

Life is like...a bread recipe

Our lives are comprised of several variables that contribute to our happiness, success, and overall well-being. Such variables include, but are clearly not limited to, our food, shelter, families, careers, financial prosperity, physical condition, mental stability, and spiritual health.

When reviewing who we are and what we’ve become, we can view each of these variables as ingredients that have ultimately created the end product of our selves. Just as each ingredient in a bread recipe adds value to the overall quality of the loaf, each variable, or ingredient, in our life recipe adds value to the overall quality of our lives. We must reflect upon ourselves and determine whether or not we are satisfied with our current product, or our lives as they currently exist.

If we are satisfied with what we’ve become, we should continue to follow the recipe as is. However, if we lack satisfaction with our current product, we must modify our recipe. If unsatisfied, we review all of the ingredients within our recipe and then add to, remove from, or modify quantities currently on the list. We continue to research variables through trial and error in effort to develop the perfect recipe for our lives just as the baker tries different ingredients in the bread recipe until she discovers the perfect recipe. She continues to follow the perfect recipe from the point of discovery just as we will continue to follow the perfect recipe for our lives as soon as it is discovered.

Once discovered, although each ingredient in the bread recipe is crucial to produce the perfect loaf, the small amount of yeast included in the recipe is the element that allows the loaf to rise to its optimum size. Without the yeast, the loaf would still exist, but at a lesser potential. Too much yeast would yield a product that is fragile and full of holes.

What ingredient in our lives expands our potential to the same extent that yeast expands the bread? The answer is...Passion. We must identify our passion and, if we have not done so already, add that passion to our life recipe. Without passion, we still exist, but just as the loaf, we exist at a lesser potential. By integrating that passion into our recipe, we have the ability to rise to our optimum potential.

Finding our passion and interlacing it with the ingredients in our lives, such as our careers and families, will significantly enhance our potential. Find your passion, that which you love and that which excites you, that which strikes your deepest interests; and work that passion into your life.

Some of us are searching for our passion while some of us are well aware of our passion. Unfortunately, although some of us have already identified our passion, we fail to add it to the other ingredients in our lives. Omitting our identified passion from our recipe can be compared to a baker who omits the yeast from the bread recipe even though the ingredient sits on the counter waiting to be used.

Be cautious to regulate the amount of passion added to your life. Just as an excessive yeast ratio can yield a fragile loaf of bread, an excessive passion ratio can yield a fragile life. Too much passion can begin to negatively impact other ingredients within your life such as your career and family life, resulting in a weaker overall well-being.

When we identify the right recipe for our lives and add passion to the blend, we then face the opportunity to reach our full potential.